the reason i watch so many tv shows is because i’d rather worry about all the characters’ problems than my own
- Pregnant woman: oh my god he's kicking!!
- Me: *punches her in the stomach* you think it's fucking cool to hit girls you little bitch??
- me: I should go shower now
- (five minutes later)
- (another five minutes later)
- (yet another five minutes later)
- (more five minute intervals)
- someone: (goes into the bathroom)
- me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower
my favorite part of any trip to mcdonalds is the sudden and unavoidable flashbacks to the time when I got stuck in the slide for 5.5 hours and the staff had to slide down mcnuggets so I could keep up my energy while they cut the slide in half with a hacksaw. half-slide is still there, haunting me and the other kids who sudden fall through a hole halfway through their journey down
id like think im an alternative badass who doesn’t give a fuck and doesnt live by societys rules, but in reality i do all my homework and never back talk teachers and i say “please” and “thank you” and “sorry” way too much.
this post is making me rethink my life why
Hermione Granger did all of those things and was still a total badass
i love that kids don’t understand the concept of money. i heard a kid at walmart today grab a bag of beef jerky and say “i’m just going to have this” and when his mom said “you can’t just take that” he said “who is going to stop me”